Still searching for answers…

So sudden, there is a virtual thump that hits me hard from every angle. You won. Not only that you have hurt it, you have also crushed it down. Somehow or rather, it wants to get back up and fight the war, but it just doesn’t seem right.

people in this world would have different story line in their life. though all would not have the same scene, nor the same character in it, they would certainly have the same chapter.

the time will come, when we tripped and fell down. the difference is, will we be able to stand back up, or remain down forever. or maybe for a long time.

ignorance is a very uninteresting, indeed an unacceptable thing that one could handle. when we know there are people around us, just that no one seems to care, it could lead to worst things to come. there are actually stories. which make them facts in this case that I am trying to unfold.

people commit suicide when the boiling point of being lonely has reaches. people would change for the worst when they felt ignored and unwanted. people could do irrational things just to get their minds of being ignored. the list would go one and i’m sure you guys can think of the relevence of what i’m blabbing about.

the moral of the whole issue is that, go out there, and spread the love. tell your friends you still do care about them. tell your family that they are important to you. tell your partner that you still do love them. if you don’t, tell the truth. because ignorance can lead to the worst.

-fauwazHassan-

"wouldn’t it be nice to hold you, and to kiss you. wouldn’t it be nice, to be with you and to protect you. wouldn’t it be nice, just you and me, like old times…"

"is this the right time to fall in love?"

i was asked that question once. i was stunned. taken a back.

i found the perfect answer… "there will never be a correct time to fall in love"

love. somewhat people define as something so painful but we still want it more than anything. no matter how bad it has bring us down, somehow, we will manage to stand up and keep searching for that true everlasting love.

love. its painful, yet rewarding. its beautiful, but could shape the deepest cut. love, for some is unbearable, yet too beautiful too let go. what is love actually?

-fauwazHassan-

Khas Buatmu

mengapa mesti cinta rasa begini?
mengapa rasa sayang mesti terasa bagai terseksa?
mengapa semuanya begini?

indah sungguh indah
bila engkau tersenyum menatapku
bila gelak tawa mu memecah kalbu sunyi
indah sungguh indah
hanya saat untuk bersama mu

namun
mengapa mesti cinta rasa begini?
rasa yang sukar diutuhkan dalam hati
rasa yang sering berlari-lari mencari kebebasan

namun
mengapa rasa sayang mesti terasa bagai terseksa?
rasa yang bagai telah dikecapai hilang kembali
rasa indah itu bagaikan pergi mencari erti

setiap saat bersamamu
membuatkan dunia gelapku
terang menyinar kembali
menjadikan
segala yang layu itu
hidup mencari erti baru…

kau
hanya satu
erti baru untuk hidupku
hanya kau satu…

this year. it was dull. until a phone call struck me by surprise. a long-distance one. thank you.

this time, it was stressful. when suddenly a song was sung. by almost 20 of them. touched. thank you.

for the first time, never expected it. a wish. from that someone. it was simple yet meaningful. thank you.

-fauwazHassan-

"hoping, loving and believing will always pay off for those who waits. patiently"

* i was numb all over. when i saw her, after quite some time. she looked so different. she has the look to make others hold their breath. at least i did.

** i heard the story. she was looking for me. not putting my hopes too high. but knowing it, made me smile. i do miss her already.

no matter how hard we try, we can never be assured by what we have. but again, there is no harm in trying. it may, just may pays off. don’t ever stop believing. there’s always hope.

-fauwazHassan

"i close my eyes when i go to bed, and hope it will all be wonderful again when i open them"

***

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me & you
Mistakes I know I’ve made a few
I took some shots that fail from time to time baby
You were there to pull me through
Been around that block a time or two
I’m gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how I’ve come this far
The answer’s written in my eyes

Every time I look at you
Baby I see something new
It takes me higher than before
It makes me want you more
I don’t want to sleep tonight
Dreaming’s just a waste of time
When I look at what my life’s been coming to
I’m all about loving you
I’m all about loving you

***

if only, something could be undone, this would be it. dedication specially for you. only now…. (kerat-kerat mode)

-fauwazHassan-

"you do take my breathe away. make my heart beats faster. you make my palms sweat. but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you. it means i do. sometimes your heart knows things your mind can’t explain. and my heart doesn’t race for anyone else. no one else but you."

"don’t love it too much, coz you might end up hating it and also don’t hate it too much, coz you might end up loving it…"

IT refers to whatever creation that we might love and hate.

A time will come, when we realized, the person we consider our best friend, will only treat us as a friend. A time will come, when we suddenly discover, a special person to us, is only treating us as normal human being. And when these time comes, we will be crushed and maybe humiliated.

Nothing is worse, than being mistreated by them in front of hundreads of people. When it happens, no feeling of love, no feeling of hatred. Just an indescribable feeling. Only He knows.

-FauwazHassan-

"harapan ku, untuk engkau menyedari akan perkara sebenar, tidak pernah luntur"

"pop…"

it happened. twice.

thank you to my friends who have helped a lot for the past one day. aru especially. to those who have visited me, and ask about me, thanks for your concern.

hoping for the best for me to recover well. and your prayers will always be appreciated. thank you.

-fauwazHassan

"to know that someone still cares for you, will make you smile in great pain"

"mintak maaf byk2 kalau ada salah silap. jaga diri kat sana elok-elokk tau. all the best."

those are the words i am able to say to those who had left for australia. it has been 5 days now. ming hwa, henri, sema, anas, dan yang lain-lain, semua dah takde dekat sini.

lagu ‘leaving on a jet plane" dimainkan di KLIA bile sema dtg dan salam rakan-rakan yang datang malam tu. memang syahdu. lepas tu, sorang-sorang kawan lain mengucapkan selamat tinggal. anas. dan akhir skali henri. pelukan, kata-kata akhir, dan titisan air mata.

to be real honest, aku tak rasa sedih. satu perasaan yang tak aku sangka. mungkin disebabkan, tak puas meluahkan kata selamat tinggal. ataupun, mungkin juga, tidak dapat memberitahu anas dan sema perkara yang ingin aku luahkan sebelum mereka pergi. tapi takpe, mungkin tiada rezeki. mungkin juga, ada hikmahnyer.

saat itu, aku nampak anas turun eskalator. melambaikan tangan, dan merenung jauh ke wajahnya.

aku cuba sedaya upaya, untuk membayangkannya. if I were in their shoes, how would i feel? my mom and dad would certainly be in tears. my sisters. my grandpa. my friends, would they be there to send me off? and how would i be without her? turun eskalator. melambaikan tangan. dan merenung wajah dia seolah-olah itu lah saat yang terakhir aku diberi peluang untuk menatap dia. semua terserah kepada takdir Ilahi.

ketiadaan anas dan sema memang dapat dirasakan. skrang kalau pergi makan malam2 kat v3, terasa kurang nyer orang. skrang kalau gelak time jalan gi clas, terasa makin senyap gelak tawa. skrang kalau tgk game urawa, terasa dah tak berteman. semuanyer kerana ketiadaan anas dan sema.

sejak hampir 3 tahun kenal dgn diorg. kalau difikir-fikirkan balik, byk yang dah kita lalui bersama. ada time gaduh, time suka ria, time emo emo. itu semua, pelengkap kepada satu ikatan persahabtan.

dan… bila saat ni datang, terasa amat sukar. amat sukar untuk kita melupakan orang yang kita sayang. orang yang telah kita lalui semuanyer bersama. orang yang bersama kita selama satu jangka masa yang lama. orang yang kita consider sebagai sahabat. orang yang boleh kita luahkan rasa perasaan dan hati kecil ini. orang yang kita sayang.

tapi aku sedar, ini cuma secubit garam dalam menempuh hidup ini. life must go on. sooner or later, everyone will be able to cope without them being with us. whatever happens, the memories will always be there, not going anywhere..

-fauwazHassan-

"you know that thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. and when you lose that possibility, it’s kinda sucks…"

we as weak human beings, can only be able to plan. but the Almighty Allah swt is the One who determines everything. everything He planned, would bring benefits to everyone involved.

at times, we forget about how do we get where we are today. be thankful. be generous. be a good slave to Him.

-fauwazHassan-

"walau apa pun terjadi, sejauh mana pun kita dipisahkan, akan sentiasa ku berada di sisi mu, akan sentiasa ku mendoakan kebahagiaanmu"